In an earlier post, we looked at the 5 levels of Influence. Now, where would you like to be with yourself? That’s right, level 3, 4 or 5

I’ll guess that this is one level beyond your current level. So how? Well, that’s the seed planted. If you are at level 1 - struggling to attain level 2 - I recommend that you seek professional help. I don’t mean a psychiatrist - I mean a coach. If you are at level 1, chances are very high that there is no-one in your life currently at level 4 - i.e. no-one that you respect for how they have developed you as an individual. This is the person you want as a coach ideally. Short of that, ask around - or get onto our website, we’ll happily point you to someone we’ve worked with in the past who might be suitable.

Those of you at level 2, wanting to get to level 3 - production or results…

You could start with your instructor ,or your regular playing partners. Tell them to help you push yourself. It’s amazing once you start to get the results you want - then you’ll respect yourself for it and rely less and less on others influencing you.

Level 3 to level 4 - this, I believe, is about the love to learn for the sake of it. You can start with learning something you have thought till now as being ‘impossible’. Right-handed players learning to play left-handed. Shoot targets. Play games like ‘bag grab’. Best of all, start someone new on golf - help them learn.

Level 4 to level 5, I believe that this is when you find yourself and what you really really believe in. It’s a higher calling, beyond self. It is, for me, ridding myself of the self-righteousness, the ego if you will and knowing that you have a purpose in this life.

There are other aspects of influence in this game as well. It is not entirely self-focussed.

The way we play, the confidence that we exude, the way we allow our character to come out - all of these have an influence on those around us.

Technical aptitude alone is insufficient

Jimmy Connors, winner of 109 professional singles tennis titles says “There’s a thin line between being #1 or #100 and mostly it’s mental.”

In his well-researched book, Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman shows that it’s our attitude more than our aptitude that determines our altitude. Whilst our society lauds intellectual giants and power, Goleman’s research concludes, “At best, IQ contributes about 20 percent to the factors that determine life success, which leaves 80 percent to other forces.” Other EQ researchers, Robert Cooper and Ayman Sawaf consider this too conservative. In their book, Executive EQ: Emotional Intelligence in Leadership and Organizations, they write, “- IQ may be related to as little as 4 percent of real-world success - over 90 percent may be related to other forms of intelligence - it is emotional intelligence, not IQ or raw brain power alone, that underpins many of the best decisions, the most dynamic and profitable organizations, and the most satisfying and successful lives. Malcolm Higgs and Vic Dulewicz set out to disprove this “faddish idea” relenting after their own research that actually, Emotional Intelligence is of far greater importance than IQ and something they term “management quotient”.

There’s a growing consensus in the academic and popular literature that our attitude and our mindset are more important than our technical capability that make a difference to our success. As Zig Ziglar puts it, “Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.”

Difference makers have a better attitude

Consider all the things that Tiger could use as an excuse at the 2008 US Open:

• Hadn’t played in a competition for 2 months
• Recent knee operation - reduced fitness
• Further damaged knee on swing during the tournament
• Highly skilled and determined competitors
• Poor first round
• Pressure of historical wins
• Expectations very high on his performance
• Does not need the money

After blowing a three shot lead with 8 holes to play, Woods rallied and came to the 18th hole and stood over a birdie put to avoid an infamous defeat. He came through. Sudden death on the 7th saw an end to his fierce competition and Woods again took the trophy.

How many of us would find that sort of resilience within us?

Three steps to achieving your success

It’s all very well understanding and believing that our attitude is more important than our aptitude, but exactly what can we do about it? What makes the difference that you can develop?

There appears to be three major differences between those that achieve great success in their field, and those who remain in the obscurity of mediocrity.

• Successful people know what they want to achieve. They have a clearly defined goal.
• They are constantly seeking ways to learn and improve.
• They consistently present a positive attitude.

This isn’t intended to be an exhaustive and comprehensive list of must haves, but to highlight key difference makers that anyone is able to adopt.

Clear goal you are pulled toward

There’s plenty of discussion on setting goals for yourself and how important it is to have a clear vision, a picture of your future.

Rather than go through all of that now, I’d refer you back to a couple of other articles I’ve written on the subject. Here though, I’d like to explore three different modes of how you get to your goal:

Push mode, Pull mode and Drift mode:

Push Mode

If you have to drive others towards an objective, even drive yourself towards it, I call this being in push mode.

Push mode is typified by focusing your attention on problems that need to be resolved, or things that need fixing. Many people use a ‘todo’ list or a GTD (getting things done) system. Are you one of them? Take a look at yours now and see if it is a list of problems.

The fun, creative or enjoyable things rarely make it onto a ‘todo’ list - rather there is a tendency to say that once the list is done and I have time, then I’ll do the fun stuff.

What’s more, you will already know that the things we pay attention to are the things that grow and the things we don’t pay attention to tend to fade away. So if we focus on problems (call them challenges or issues if you must but they are still the same thing), we will find that the problems grow. So here’s a radical thought, if we focus our attention on interesting, exciting, fun things, they will grow. And our problems, won’t they fade away?

“But you don’t understand. I have to get this report done, I have a ton of emails to clear, I have to attend this meeting, I have calls to make to angry customers, and if I don’t I’ll get fired. I simply don’t have time to talk to people, take it easy, smell the flowers…”

And when your stress levels have made you so sick that you can’t work, let alone afford the hospital bills you’ll feel what exactly? Accomplished? Valued? Important?

Nothing more satisfying than lying in bed recovering from a heart attack knowing how much your contribution is missed.

I’m not saying that these things (some of them anyway) don’t need to be done but that by not focusing on them, they will (and do) fade away. Oftentimes, they just get done. Without stress, without worry.

In Push Mode, we are continuously pushing ourselves (and others) towards our goals relying on our own effort to keep us on our straight and planned track. Obstacles that we face in our way are enemies to progress which may force us to re- plan our route. Our motivation stems form outside forces, the concrete and measurable goal is frequently thought to be motivation enough and any resistance to achieving the goal, self-inflicted or external resistance, is just another obstacle.

In Push Mode, when progress is slow, we re-plan and consider time management a priority. Only, unless you have discovered the secret to warping the space-time continuum, you cannot actually manage time.

Pull Mode

Pull Mode,  on the other hand, is about leadership and paying attention to growth and improvement.

Rather than focusing attention on problems to be solved or fixed or overcome, in Pull Mode we take time to clearly envision our future and allow the goal to pull us towards it. The results of Push Mode and Pull Mode may appear to be the same (that is the achievement of the goal) but Pull Mode takes less effort and allows our unconscious activity to take precedence over conscious linear processing.

The idea of Pull Mode is that you create a vision of the future that is so compelling for you (and perhaps for others) that you cannot help but be drawn towards it. The things that you need to do on the way become minor irritants that simply get done and anything that really is not important is not done and fades into insignificance.

“Hold on, what if something that is important is not recognised as being important?” Excellent question. Things that appear to need to be done, whether important or not, on your journey are your friends - they are obstacles to your progress but think of them in terms of friends, or learning opportunities.

Let me take a personal example if I may. Two things about running a business that I personally do not enjoy: 1, Filing, 2. Doing the accounts. I appreciate that some people just adore filing and doing the accounts but I don’t. In Push Mode, I resist doing them until I absolutely have to or, usually, risk a penalty. It is the penalty that drives me to do it. I still hate doing it but I dislike paying a penalty more. In Pull Mode, these things still come across my path but now I see them as friends - the chance to look again at scraps of notes, letters or offers. I have learned to change my mindset from doing the filing to my enjoyment of a clear desk and in-tray and just do it. It’s no longer something I resist. Do I enjoy doing it? No, I don’t if I think about it consciously, I just let it happen.

“But what if it should be done and its not that critical or important?” The chances are, for me, that it won’t get done. Importantly, if I find myself resisting doing something, I stop, tune into my thought processing and ask myself why I am resisting it?

For example, keen observers may have noted that I didn’t talk about doing my accounts in Pull Mode above. You’d be right. It is something that I continued to resist - I can’t really explain what it is about doing the accounts that I just don’t want to do, and I found this quite strange considering that I do enjoy building spreadsheets of budgets and am quite au fait with P&L and Balance Sheet - and then it occurred to me that I like thinking through future scenarios, but what’s done is done. I honestly can’t be bothered about it. Now, of course, there’s legal compliance… and I realised further, I really don’t like to be told that I have to do something. So what did I learn from this resistance? I learned that I am quite happy considering the future and do not wish to have to create organisation of the past. Decision? Outsource to someone capable and trusted.

In Pull Mode, you only do the things that you want to do that move you towards your goal such that the work you are doing is effortless. Obstacles that need to be overcome that meet with your own resistance are a warning flag to you that something else is going on - stop and allow yourself to consider what the resistance is trying to tell you.

“Isn’t it possible then that you’ll go into Pull Mode, and miss the important things that need to be done?”

Sure it’s possible, but unlikely to be important in the achievement of the goal. Things that are a requirement in your society but have no direct relationship to the achievement of your goal. Yet there’s a third mode of being that is neither Push nor Pull, and that’s Drift Mode.

Drift Mode

The stresses of Push Mode, always making things happen and forever coming up against obstacles and ‘time-wasters’, causes many people to fall into Drift Mode rather than Pull Mode.

Drift Mode is quite different to Pull Mode, somewhat ‘New-Agey’ in influence where one just ‘lets things happen’. call it karma, fate, life forces, whatever - it generally involves emptying your mind of worries and anxieties and just letting life happen to you. Whatever way the wind blows, you drift along with it.

You might end up on an agreeable shore when you allow yourself to drift over the seas of life, or you might end up somewhere unpleasant, or. most probably, you’ll just continue drifting along.

Pull Mode is different because there is a clear and articulated vision of your compelling goal that is pulling you towards it. The aimlessness of Drift Mode may be refreshing for a while, but the anxieties of life will soon catch up and cause as much stress as Push Mode already does for the vast majority of people.

PushMePullYou

This mythical creature in Dr Doolittle provides a metaphor for how many leaders feel about leadership. They are in Push Mode for themselves, driving the agenda and encountering resistance of their ‘followers’ who have to be pulled, some suggest dragged kicking and screaming, in the chosen direction.

No wonder many leaders are exhausted. Many drive themselves to an early grave or opt-out entirely and fall into Drift Mode.

“How do I know which mode I’m in?”

Do you take pride in hard work? Do you brag about working more than 50 hours a week? Do you use ToDo lists? Do you think that in order for things to happen, that you have to make them happen?

If you answer yes to most or all, you’re in Push Mode.

Do you have a compelling vision of your future self? Find your work effortless? Know that everything that needs to be done will be done?

Sounds like Pull Mode.

Have a sort of idea what I want in the future? Take it easy whenever possible and avoid unpleasant tasks? If things happen they happen, if they don’t ‘they don’t?

Drift Mode.

“Surely it’s better for your health to be in Drift mode than Push Mode?” Sure, if you have a lot of savings or a rich family to fall back on. But if you have no goal in life, just what are you doing here?

What can I learn?

People who achieve great success are always learning. They seek ways to improve and are prepared to work through the difficulties of change required to become better.

Peter Senge in his book, The Learning Organization, expands in great detail about his idea for organizations to constantly seek improvement in everything. But what about learning at a personal level? What if you are currently at the top of your game? Surely you’ve already learned.

Our learning journey can go through a series of steps and the height of our performance is determined by our technical ability and our mindset, our aptitude and our attitude.

The journey is not always easy or straightforward. Let’s return to Tiger Woods…

Prepared to change

You’re at the top of your game, you’re doing better than anyone has ever done in your field. Technically, you are the best in your business. You earn more than anyone else in the same line of business. You have a serious competitive advantage. Why would you decide to change something fundamental about the way you do what you do?

After seven years and 142 tournaments in a row, Tiger Woods finally joined the ranks of mortal golfers when he missed the cut at the Byron Nelson Championship May 13, 2005. Golf pundits argue that changing his swing is to blame.

There was another reason, his knee. A physical problem that seems to not want to go away. But what makes Tiger stand out so much from the rest is not just his aptitude for the game, his superior technical skill… it’s his mindset. In spite of being in a great deal of pain… he overcame it with a determination, the will and resilience that allowed his technical brilliance to shine.

A Positive attitude

We all have days (sometimes weeks and months) where everything seems to be going wrong. Whatever you try to do, however clear your goal - there just doesn’t seem to be any progress.

Sports psychologists refer to the period when everything is going well and peak performance is apparent as being ‘in the zone’. Golfers who find their rhythm and the ball lands just so. The athlete who has trained and is at their physical and mental peak runs the race of their life. The business person who’s found themselves in the right place at the right time with the right product or service.

Yet most of the time, we just ain’t there. We yank the club and the ball lands in the bunker. Our business would be just great if we just land this additional sale.

Some days, it’s hard to wake up and find the energy to put on a brave face and go out there knowing that today probably isn’t that day, hoping that it is but not really believing it. We known we have to learn and improve but just when is my breakthrough going to come.

It may not come today, but one thing I can assure you of - something about today is better than yesterday.

What’s better today?

Being prepared to learn and change and put in the required effort is a critical step in constantly improving. But this carries the suggestion that we should focus on what is wrong, or what needs improving.

If we’re going to consider being in “pull-mode” towards our goals and ambitions, a much better question to ask is “what’s better today?”

When you meet someone, or write a message it is ‘normal’ to ask “how are you?” or “How do you do?” Now in doing so, do you really, truthfully want to know the answer?

“Well, I’ve had this terrible problem with my stomach and I didn’t sleep too well last night for all the stress I’m under and…”

How would you respond if instead I asked you “what’s better today?”

Would you reflect on improvements made? Would it cause you to think about some things have indeed moved forward?

Try it, I dare you! It makes it a whole heap easier to keep on going towards that goal.

Your Choice

People who have achieved great success know what they want to achieve and have a clear vision of their future.

They recognise that their technical ability, their aptitude is one (small) part that contributes to their achievement and constantly strive to improve.

Most importantly, they keep on keeping on, keep turning up and are prepared to learn and change whilst maintaining a positive attitude.

Even Tiger has a bad round of golf - nothing like as bad as most of us but bad for him. Do you see him quitting?

You were created to be an soar at altitude like an eagle not peck the dirt like a chicken.

Something that I believe is a much worse situation, is that many people neglect to develop and improve their influence of themselves. Odd? I don’t need to influence myself. If I tell myself to do something, I simply do it. Exactly, that’s why so few people consider the importance of this. We work on the simple assumption that we don’t need to influence ourselves. Maybe not, but building the habits of higher levels of influence with others starts with ourselves. Let’s discuss these five levels in respect to self-influence.

Level 1 - Position. Are you in a superior position - i.e. a position of authority of yourself? Do you have power over yourself?

For example, you know that in order to improve your golf game, you need to do some good stretching exercises. Others have told you this, your instructor, magazines, peers and so on. Do you do it? Some of you do - well done. Most of you don’t.

You also have a busy life, what with work, family, kids, social activities, friends and so on. In order for you to ensure that you practice your golf suitably and regularly to improve, you have organised your priorities such that you always practice when you plan to? Yes, I hear you, family and unexpected events do crop up don’t they. Hmmm, influence? Over others and self?

Basically, most people do not have positional power over them self. A few will exercise this and may be referred to as having an ‘iron will’, be ‘determined’, or be ‘uncompromising’. For others, if you find that you need others to push you along every time, you might like to change this situation.

Okay then, Level 2 - Permission - based on relationships. Do you have a good relationship with yourself? Do you. honestly now, like yourself? Do you enjoy and appreciate the relationship that you have with yourself?
Some of you do, and that’s excellent, again, most do not - at least if they are honest with themselves.

Weird, namby pamby, soft clap trap. Oh that it were. The psychiatrists chairs are filled with people whose relationship with self has irreparably broken down. Unfortunately this isn’t just psychological bull - it’s a genuine problem. And basically, if you don’t like yourself, you won’t follow your requests.

Ever find yourself struggling to take your own, perfectly good advice? You know it’s the right or the best thing to do, but simply are not being influenced by someone that you actually like.

Perhaps you skipped the first two levels (or think you did, because we actually go tup the levels as we mature - still, the first two could have been climbed in childhood).

Level 3 - Production. You accept the influence of you having made good performance enhancing decisions in the past.

This is where you practice well, and properly because your experience has been to win competitions, beat your peers (whatever you have as results) - you have achieved the results you set out to achieve. Now you ‘believe’ yourself when you request yourself to continue the process. A good level of influence to be - there’s still a spot higher we could use, but so long as you constantly present yourself with appropriate results, this will suffice.

Better still, is to reach level 4 influence - People development - where you influence yourself because you have developed yourself effectively before and it has done you good. These individuals are true self-starters. Often they learn for the pure love of learning - they don’t need external impetus as a necessary ‘reason’. They respect their personal development, they make time for themselves, they indulge in everything that they want to indulge in and know, always, that every opportunity to learn is a learning experience.

Will you reach level 5 - person-hood? Do you, indeed can you, respect yourself. Now, I have worked with many people to work on this - and they successfully achieve it. The people at this level with themselves you meet who are very ‘centred’ - strong in their values or live a ‘principled’ life. Nothing seems to ruffle them, overly worry them - and, incidentally, they treat everyone around them with respect as well… they are at, or near this level with themselves.

Now, there are going to be some people out there reading this, or hearing this and thinking that it’s a load of crock. Of course, you are entitled to your opinion and I am always happy to debate the concept in the furtherance of people being able to get the best out of themselves. Meantime, I just ask -  do you talk to yourself? Do you ever have a debate going on - it doesn’t mean you have to speak out loud - self-talk can be entirely internal. You do? Who then, are you talking to?

Weighing up the pro’s and con’s - presenting yourself with a balanced argument… perhaps you want to buy a new set of clubs. Now, this is not a decision to be taken lightly. New clubs, can cost a small fortune - indeed a large fortune too. As you go through the internal debate, you are influencing yourself one way or the other.

Let’s work on a hypothetical situation. You have been playing golf for some time. You’re instructor has recommended that you buy new clubs to fit your body - your current set inherited from your father who was 6 inches shorter than you. You have no major crisis in your family requiring your savings immediately and you are in a suitably secure financial situation - but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. It’s a new set of clubs or, a longer summer holiday. You love to play golf and want the new clubs to assist your  length and, let’s face it, the old clubs have a few deep scratches and maybe the alignment is off…

There are, according to John C. Maxwell, five levels of influence - each with their own rights and each with their power to influence.

Level 1 - Position - This is when you have the positional authority (aka power) over someone else and they have to follow because of the power relationship. The most familiar situation when this is displayed is between children and their parent - in the never ending cycle of “why do I have to?” the exasperated parent running short of arguments or more frequently, time, responds “because I said so!” never an effective nor motivational response, but it sums up how leaders finally resort to this positional power to cause someone else to have to do something.

Level 2 - Permission - based on relationships - where people follow because they want to as they have a good relationship with you

Level 3 - Production - based on results that you have demonstrably achieved for the organisation. People follow because of what you have done for the organisation

Levels 4 - People Development - based on reproduction - people follow because of what you have done for them personally. This is the top level for most people and is only achieved with those you have personally developed - though your reputation for enabling others to excel will allow a superior level 3 (results)

Level 5 - Person-hood - based on respect - sadly very very few people will ever achieve this. Though its the level that many aspire to have or rather believe in themselves that others should simply respect them (usually these are disenfranchised level 1 leaders who demand ‘respect’ from authority rather than earn the genuine respect and admiration of others through their actions and continual display of care and concern for others, the organisation and standing up for forthright and important values.

Your ability to influence others is often misunderstood at best, and reliant on ‘luck’ at worst. Few leaders in the world understand their position of influence with each of their constituents and fewer still, work a deliberate plan to increase their influential effectiveness with others.

Influence is a two-way street. Everything you do and say has some influence on others - you are part of their external environment. You even exert a small degree of gravitational force on others, indeed, you exert gravitational force on the planet! Not a lot admittedly, but your mass does attract other mass. You knew that you should have paid attention in science class now. Just as aside, it’s quite a useful factoid for use when you have gained a few pounds of weight - you do so in order to become more attractive! That’s put paid to the glamour magazines.

The same is trues for other people exerting their influence over you. Everything that other people say or do is a part of your external environment and that exerts an influence in turn over your behaviour.

The external environment beyond other human beings, also has some influence over you. The weather for example - when it is raining, it is quite likely that you would alter your ‘normal’ behaviour by carrying an umbrella, or wearing a rain-proof coat. You know for sure that the weather can have a major influence over your golf. When there is lightening, you would wisely move away from the fairways under the trees or into the clubhouse. Being struck by lightening is one influence that everyone can do without.

The problem with influence is that human beings have a tendency to assume that there is little you can do to change the way something influences you. Well, let me put this straight. You can and you do.
Let us take an example of something that influences us and we do something about it  - almost fight its influence on our lives. One that affects us all and that is our friend gravity. You see, gravity is ever present in our lives - there are a few exceptions but since that involves  travelling into space I think I can safely assume that does not include you. If, by chance you have travelled into space - my question is - how far can you hit a drive out there? Must be awesome.

Back to earth. Gravity is a pretty constant force acting on our bodies - in order to combat the effects of gravity we develop muscles and utilise energy to stand against it. Only when we are physically damaged - break a leg, twist an ankle, suffer paralysis and so on, do we truly appreciate how much effort is involved in keeping our body upright and moving. When we are reasonably fit and well, we think little or nothing of getting up from a chair and walking, and most of the time, we do all this unconsciously. We have programmed our brain to take care of operating the correct muscles, keeping balance, walking, and all the while supplying those muscles and cells with energy through breathing and circulating our blood. Now, if you had to consciously work out how to do all this stuff that we simply take for granted, you’d not have a great deal of time to think about much else - at least, not consciously.

What’s the point of this? Well, it’s simple really - there are many many things occurring in your life, including when you practice and play golf, that influence your behaviour. Some things we cannot change - gravity, weather, daylight, animals etc. and we can choose to what extent we allow such to affect us and our behaviours. We can choose to be at cause for ourselves or at the effect of the environment and others. In other words, I’m disabling your potential for ‘excuses’.