Guess what.

As you are thinking about what they are thinking about you, they’re thinking what you are thinking about them.

Instead. Tell them what you’re thinking about them. Affirm them. Encourage them. They’ll feel good about you.

From Today Matters: Decision making is OVERRATED. We overate what happens when we make a decision. Oh, made that decision and life’s changed. Sometimes yes, sometimes no.
But decision managing is underrated. How we manage the decision we make is going to determine the success of that decision. You need the discipline to follow through DAILY on the decisions you make.

Let me share an example. Many people make a decision to diet to lose weight. Great… decision made. But the decision is just the start… it needs follow through and the daily discipline to make it work.

5 Things you can do to manage yourself exceptionally well

1. Manage your emotions.
   • Good leaders know when to display emotions and when to delay them.
   • Whether you display or delay your emotions should not be based on “what will make me feel better?” rather, it should be based on “what does the team need?”
   • Have you ever tip toed around someone? Poking your nose around the door to your bosses office and thinking, no not today.
2. Manage your time.
   • Actually you cannot manage time. Time ticks on by whether you manage it or not. What you can do is manage your priorities:
3. Manage your priorities
   • 80% of your time and work in your strengths
   • 15% of your time and work where you are learning
   • 5% of your time and work in those other necessary areas
4. Manage your energy.
   • Beware the ABCs of Energy Drain
   • Activity without direction – Doing things that do not seem to matter.
   • Burden without action -Not being able to do things that really matter.
   • Conflict without resolution – Not being able to deal with what’s the matter.
5. Manage your personal life.
   • Success is having those closest to me, love and respect me the most.

Leading others beyond your position is not easy.

Think Influence not Position

How to become a person whom people will want to follow

• People follow leaders they know – leaders who care.
• People follow leaders they trust – Leaders with Character.
• People follow leaders they respect – Leaders who are competent.
• People follow leaders they approach – Leaders who are consistent.
• People follow leaders they admire – Leaders with commitment.

Championing the vision is more difficult  when you didn’t create it

• The more you invest in the vision, the more it becomes your own.

How people respond to the vision challenge

• Attack it – Criticize and sabotage it
• Ignore it – And do their own thing
• Abandon it – Leave the organization

Or…

• Adapt to it – Find a way to align with the vision
• Champion it  - Take the leader’s vision and make it a reality
• Add Value to it

Leaders like the front rather than the middle.

• Leadership is more disposition than position – influence others from wherever you are.

How to be fulfilled in the middle of the pack?

See the big picture
Define a win in terms of teamwork.
Engage in continual communication.
Gain experience and maturity.

Maturity doesn’t come with age

It begins with the acceptance of responsibility

Ed Cole

“You’re often hidden in the middle”

• Remember that consistently good leadership does get noticed.

“True heroism is remarkably sober,  very undramatic.  It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever the cost, but the urge to serve others whatever the cost.”Arthur Ashe

How to handle the ego challenge

• Concentrate more on your duties than your dreams.
• Appreciate the value of your position
• Find satisfaction in knowing the real reason for the success of the project.
• Understand the difference between self promotion and selfless promotion.
• Self vs. selfless promotion

One head…. many hats

• Knowing what hat to put on and then enjoying the challenge.

Hat Suggestions

• The hat sets the context when interacting with others.
• Don’t use one hat to accomplish the task required for another hat.
• When you change hats, don’t change your personality.
• Don’t neglect the hat you are responsible to wear.
• Remain flexible.

Only secure and mature people are continually flexible.

Following an ineffective leader…

• Your job isn’t to fix the leader. It’s to add value

Relieving the Frustration Challenge

• Develop a solid relationship with your leader.
• Identify and appreciate your leader’s strengths.
• Commit yourself to adding value to your leader’s strengths.
• Get permission to develop a game plan to complement your leader’s weaknesses.
• Expose your leader to good leadership resources.
• Publically affirm your leader

The pressure of being caught in the middle

• Learn to lead with the restrictions others have placed on you.

Relieving the Tension Challenge

• Become comfortable with the middle.
• Comfort is a function of understanding and valuing your position.
• Know what to own and what to let go.
• Find quick access to answers when caught in the middle.
• Never violate your position or the trust of the leader.
• Find a way to relieve your stress.