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Trust is a leader’s and a networker’s bankroll. With trust, he or she is solvent, without it, he or she is bankrupt.

A trusted networker, like a trusted leader, has a thick bankroll of crisp bills. Every time you act inconsistently with your professed values, or break a promise, you must spend some of those crisp bills – when the bankroll is gone, so is the trust that others have in you. At this point, your personal appeals or persuasive arguments cannot buy back that trust. Once lost, trust, and the personal credibility it took to gain it, may take years to regain.

Trust & Credibility

Trust is much more than credibility. Credibility is a necessary precursor to trust – before someone will place their trust in you, they have to believe in you. Trust is when a person places something of value to them into your care an stewardship because they believe that you will take good care and, usually, return to them something of greater value.

As a leader, the ’something’ may be as obviously important as life – a military leader for example. It may be time or skills or an idea for a business leader. Whatever the situation, we place our trust in the leader. In turn, the leader trust you to deliver on your promise. The relationship is established beforehand, the leader’s credibility has been established and the result of this ‘transaction’ may reinforce or destroy trust.

In networking, the same rules apply. You might offer to introduce someone to a business opportunity. As the initiator, you must trust the person to be capable or risk your personal credibility and the trust your opportunity has in you. The individual you are introducing will also trust that you will genuinely do as you say and that it is a legitimate opportunity. Trust is a two-way street.

Establishing Trust
1. Be honest and open
The top leadership attribute of most admired leaders in Kouzes and Posner’s comprehensive survey is honesty. This isn’t just about telling the truth, it is also ‘doing what you say you will do’. And, it’s worth noting that honesty does not always imply that the truth is to your own liking nor the action something with which you agree.

Some networkers though fall into the ‘marketing trap’ – embellishing aspects of their business or person to such a degree that their honesty could quickly become suspect. It’s all very well having a fabulous 30 second ‘elevator pitch‘ designed to intrigue and excite others though if it is too far removed from honesty, you may soon be dealing out some of those crisp bills from your bankroll.

Trusted leaders are open and transparent – particularly ion this post-Enron world. The suspicion surrounding UK politicians currently has a lot less to do with their actual expense claims and a lot more to do with questions about why such claims should be so secretive. Openness also means being open to question. Your elevator pitch should (according to those far more expert in this) invite questions – your answers to those being a robust defense citing evidence that supports your pitch. Can you defend your elevator pitch?

2. Don’t hide bad news
Northern Rock has suffered a major fallout, in part because the leaders hid the bad news (or the potential for bad news), possibly even from themselves. As the bad news leaked out, savers who had entrusted their money queued to withdraw it immediately. To regain some trust, the UK Government had to spend rather more than a few crisp bills from its bankroll.

Advertising of financial or pharmaceutical products now carry a warning of the potential downside or side effects (albeit in tiny print or spoken at a rate few amphetamine addicts would understand). Should our elevator pitch contain such caveats? It would be honest.

3. Don’t over promise
Making promises you cannot keep? Why do politicians rate as the most untrustworthy of people? They promise the world and seldom deliver.

It’s a trap that many parents fall into. Talking to their kids about the exciting places they’re going to go and the fun they are going to have. From pimples – “you’ll grow out of it” to exhortions to study – “you’ll be able to do whatever you like when you graduate with honours”.

Networkers are prone to over promise – it’s considered perhaps an embellishment, a slight exaggeration or, the catch-all, marketing.

4. Walking the talk
Doing what you say you will do is probably the most critical component of trust. If any of the three points above are in doubt, there is little chance that you will be able to walk the talk.

How many times have you been to a networking event that ends in warm handshakes and empty commitments? When you say that you will introduce a friend to a contact, do it. If you say that you’ll pass on their contact information, do that. If you say that you’ll turn their business around and they will make 2 grand a month with just 4 hours work a week… Diligent follow-through sets you apart from the crowd and communicates trust.

Your trust bankroll is being spent every-time you:

How to rebuild trust

Even the greatest leaders can suffer a loss of trust. This may be the result of error in judgment or a mistake. Or circumstances may conspire against the leader (a favourite of politicians and ex-Northern Rock senior management).

Networkers are also prone to losing trust – perhaps the result of adverse market conditions or the failure of a supplier or partner. A respected and trusted networker can lose years of building trusted relationships through introducing a connection who failed to deliver on their promise. So how do we rebuild damaged trust?

Acknowledge the mistakes
When decisions turn out unexpectedly, the leader owes his followers an explanation. Inflated egos can make a leader quick to assign blame or make excuses, but a mistake unacknowledged is compounded.

A straightforward acknowledgment of the mistake should be the front end and made voluntarily. One forced (because I got caught) does nothing to re-establish trust. “I forgot to call” may not be something a networker likes to admit, but it’s more honest than making up a convoluted story of deceit that tries to shift responsibility elsewhere.

Apologise
Admitting that you are fallible, that what you did was wrong, that you made a mistake is an important step to accepting responsibility. Knowing that you made an error is one thing, admitting it to others, though painful, allows you (and often them helping you) to put the incident behind you and take action to avoid making the same mistake in the future.

Make amends
Find a way to make amends with people you have wronged. If you have harmed, make restitution. People often forget that undelivered promises frequently have cost the other party. If, for example, you agree to meet someone at 2pm, and turn up at 2.30 – you’ve just cost someone 30 minutes. Next time who will turn up and when?

You may not be required to do so, and it may be that circumstances conspired against you, and it may be that it really truly wasn’t your fault – but accepting ownership and taking responsibility goes a long way to thickening that bankroll of trust.

Trust is the bedrock of the bond between leader and follower, the bond that makes a network work. As a leader and as a networker, trust will make or break your success in any industry or circumstance.

M. Scott Peck in ‘the road less travelled’ starts: “Life is difficult”. What is most surprising, is that, for many people, this is a revelation! Go to any business networking event, or meet a potential client – especially during the current economic situation and they will be moaning incessantly about the enormity of their problems, burdens or difficulties as if life should be easy.

Perhaps you are struggling on your journey to achieving your ’success’ and you may be suffering the consequences of one or more of the nine common delusions about achieving success. Depending on how much you believe your ’success’ is down to what you do (cause) and how much is down to external forces over which you have little or no control (effect) determines where you might be:

It’s impossible!

Particularly for those just embarking on their journey, ’success’ is a place far away. We may have wonderful dreams about it and a delightfully crafted goal. But as the days, weeks and months go by and ’success’ doesn’t appear to be any closer, many people throw in the towel. More budding entrepreneurs than I can recall have given up – life without a salary is just too tough.

When we’ve given up because ’success’ is impossible, we’ll then criticize it. Anyone who achieves success whom we deem less worthy is the subject of our scorn and contempt – “they don’t deserve it!”.

It’s a mystery to me…

If we survive the ‘impossible’ stage, seeing others achieving yet success continues to elude us we search for the secret.

We need to find the magic formula, the silver bullet or the golden key.

Retuning to that bookshop to find ‘the’ book that will change our lives. So many promise that you can achieve success in business, life, management, health, diet and they are snapped up.

Business people are constantly looking for quick fixes to problems:

• To sell more, we need the sales messages and techniques that instantly convert a cold call into a lifelong customer.
• To produce more, we need the unique leadership skills that magically and massively increase performance.
• To maintain shareholder value we need to increase profitability by increasing sales and reducing costs simultaneously. Either that or we cook the books to make it look as though we did.

Lady luck?

OK, so there’s no absolute secret to success. Sure we can learn from others, but they didn’t really do it instantly, it took time. But essentially, they were in the right place at the right time. No more than luck.

So if success is down to luck – all I can do is hope for it. One day my ship will come in. Next year, when the current economic crisis is over. The dice will fall my way.

May as well buy lottery tickets.If you’ve waited for ‘lady luck’ long enough and still on the journey, by now you may believe that luck only comes to those who create it for themselves.

All I need is a break!

If only…

Everyone has a story about someone they know who got their break. The telephone sales guy spotted in a mall by a movie producer and became an instant star. The busker in the subway ‘found’ by the record label. The crazy inventor who made gold from apple seeds.

But, if all you do is wait for it, when your opportunity comes your way, you won’t be ready for it.So you’ve not had fortune turn up on your doorstep. The 43 steps to instant success didn’t quite work out as expected. That anticipated call from the client you’ve not met didn’t come. Your website is getting plenty of ‘hits’ but turning those into business isn’t quite happening.

What I need is leverage.

We look for an angle to exploit or for leverage over someone else.

They’re successful. They do the same thing as me. Surely I can hang onto their coat tails and ride along until I’m on my feet, then I can set up on my own again, take the best customers with me and …

All I need to do is work harder!

OK, so you’re in charge of the situation now. It’s not about luck or any special formula. It’s all about hard work.

The best thing about working hard and producing results is that it feels rewarding.

Talk to anyone who has achieved success in their business, and I’ll bet they worked hard for it. They just kept going. Putting everything on the line and never giving up.

So that’s the real secret? Well, yes and no. Those people you know who are really successful in their business or career. How’s the rest of their life? Is there a chance that they are neglecting important relationships? I know of no-one on their death bed saying “I wish I’d spent more time at the office.”

Hard work itself doesn’t bring success – you may be in a dead-end job, or your fabulous new product will remain unwanted forever.

So I haven;t attended the right event yet…

Most people take the middle road towards their success. A route that depends much on self-effort, yet recognizes that the outside world has a role in my success too.

A huge number of people believe that success is an event, so they schedule for it. They attend the seminar by one of those fabulous speakers and just know that after this, they will have both the secrets of success and have made connections with like-minded people who will help each other achieve success.

The most common form of event in companies is the ‘training event’. Apparently, the two-day workshop on strategic business leadership is going to equip you with all the knowledge, experience and determination to make your business the incredible success is deserves to be.

That ‘rah-rah’ motivational event might just be the tipping point of a decision to move on, but success is a process not an event.

I just need better connections…

This is the massively growing space for business people.

We’ve all heard the phrase, it’s not what you know, it’s who you know. So we network for success. No longer is this the restrictive domain of the ‘old school tie’, the golf club or the masons. Networking is accessible to all – and the world becomes your oyster.

New technologies allow us to easily expand out network beyond any previous borders. I can network with people across the globe and in my local chapter – over breakfast, lunch, coffee, in a virtual world, in a chat room, a forum. And surely, if I connect with enough people, I’ll get to meet the ‘who you know’ that is going to make that difference.

The right relationships certainly help in achieving your ’success’ but connections alone neither improve life nor guarantee ’success’.

Remember Billy Carter? No?

No-one can network himself to success unless he has something to offer in the first place.

So I just need to be recognized…

As we network with more and more people to increase our visibility we want to be recognised by more and more people for our talents, our special ness, our difference. So we strive for success by being recognized.

For the great business people, it might be the cover of Time magazine. For the scientist or academic, maybe the Nobel prize. The writer for the Pulitzer. The movie star an Oscar. The musician, a Grammy.

Most people would settle for a lot less. Walking into a room full of people and being called by name to come over and ‘let me introduce you to…’ A client who recommends you to a friend. A collaborator who endorses you. A boss who thanks you.