Leading Blog: A Leadership Blog: 7 Signs You Might Be In Denial

Business historian Richard S. Tedlow, shares in Denial examples of CEOs who have made mistakes that could and should have been avoided and those that did it right and why. The lessons Tedlow uncovers in these examples provide us with insight into our own flirtation with denial and how we might battle it.

You might be in denial if you think you have all of the information you need. “Power deranges. Powerful people are routinely surrounded by yes-men, but that is not the real problem because they are relatively easy to spot. The real problem is the courtier who is sufficiently clever not to be detected.” Powerful people, Tedlow continues, “don’t really know as much as they may think about their own organization because people stop telling them the truth.”

You might be in denial if you don’t make a point to listen. If people think they won’t be heard they will not speak up. You need to create an open environment where it is safe to say what’s on your mind. Tedlow offers a quick test of your environment: “are the private conversations that follow meetings usually more frank and honest then the public discussions in the meetings themselves?” If so, it’s because everybody is talking about what didn’t (couldn’t) get said.

You might be in denial if you think short-term. You are sticking your head in the sand. Trying to put a Band-Aid on a much larger problem only delays your response to the inevitable. Deal with it now and completely. “Denial is all about you—and how you view the world. Your view does not change the world, the realities of which you will inevitably have to face sooner or later.”

You might be in denial if you talk trash about competitors and individuals. Anna Freud called it “defense by means of ridicule and scorn.” Tedlow writes, “If you find yourself trash-talking your competition take a moment to think about what you’re doing. What am I using this derision to hide—perhaps from myself?”

You might be in denial if you relabel actions rather than changing them. When you don’t like reality, you just change its name. The result as George Orwell said is to “perform the important service of partially concealing your meaning even from yourself.” “Troubled assets aren’t ‘troubled assets.’ They are worthless pieces of junk.”

You might be in denial if you don’t tell the truth. “Denial occurs when we push aside hard truths in favor of more palatable or convenient narratives.” This works two ways: the lies we tell and the lies others tell us. Don’t participate in either.

You might be in denial if you don’t think denial is a problem you face. That of itself is denial. Tedlow cautions, “It can never be completely defeated because we can’t fully know or face the truth about ourselves. It is impossible to be both subject and object.” You need to develop a self-awareness about it. “Denial-avoidance is a life’s work, not an agenda item….If one could simply resolve to wake up tomorrow and unflinchingly confront reality, denial would hardly be the problem that it is….You can’t avoid blind spots when you drive. However, good drivers know those blind spots exist and take them into account when they get behind the wheel. So it should be with denial.”

Some people deny less than others. How can you be one of them?

via Leading Blog: A Leadership Blog: 7 Signs You Might Be In Denial.

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Impress Your Customer: 7 Easy Strategies

The following basic tips aren’t news for seasoned sales pros, but you’d be surprised how many novices either don’t know them or aren’t following them:

* Strategy #1: Tune your first impression. A bad first impression is almost impossible to overcome. Make certain you look like someone the customer will want to work with.

* Strategy #2: Develop a friendly greeting. If you’re in sales, your smile, handshake and eye contact should be top quality. Rehearse these with a colleague who’ll give honest feedback.

* Strategy #3: Always get the name right. Be fanatical about pronunciation with unusual names. Prospects will appreciate it and it will communicate that you care.

* Strategy #4: Focus on the customer. If you find yourself talking too much about your weekend, your golf game, your family or your job, then you’re probably not listening enough.

* Strategy #5: Remember personal information. Record interesting information, like the names of family members and birthdays. Then show your customers that you remembered.

* Strategy #6: Always speak positively. Whatever the temptation, avoid criticizing anyone, even a competitor, in front of your customers. Criticizing others makes you look underhanded.

* Strategy #7: Stay appropriately upbeat. A positive attitude, fueled by honest curiosity, energy and enthusiasm, makes people WANT to work with you.

via Impress Your Customer: 7 Easy Strategies | Sales Machine | BNET.

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Are YOU to blame for THEIR poor performance?

The best way to measure a manager’s performance is to look at the performance of their team, says leadership author Bruce Rosengarten.

Leaders and managers are “incredibly accountable” for every member of their team – “70 per cent of how an employee performs is directly related to how well he or she is led and managed”, he says.

Rosengarten, the former vice president of petroleum giant Shell, says leaders who bear this in mind are more likely to cultivate successful teams.

“Determining their performance determines your performance,” he explains in his new book, Passionate Leadership.

When “so-called leaders” blame employees, the environment or “the company” for the issues they face, they betray a failure to recognise their role and responsibilities, he says.

Before blaming an employee for poor performance, leaders should ask themselves what they are doing to help the worker to perform.

via Are YOU to blame for THEIR poor performance? | All articles.

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Prepare your case, prepare for theirs

HR managers should take time not only to prepare their case before pitching it to colleagues, but to prepare for the arguments – and personalities – they will be up against, says Workplace Conflict Resolution director Catherine Gillespie.

According to Gillespie, many managers don’t know the steps required to ensure a workplace negotiation is as successful as possible.

Unlike with an external negotiation, both parties will have to work together in the future, so it is especially important to avoid manipulative tactics that focus on short-term wins.

At the same time, the individuals involved will usually know each other reasonably well. This can, she says, prove advantageous.

via Prepare your case, prepare for theirs | All articles.

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Developing Active Listening – I colour I listen

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This is a skill listening and
questioning development activity. It goes some way to developing sensory
acuity.

To develop active listening skills,
and to develop sensory acuity

 

I colour I ListenOne tip to help
you
pay greater attention to any other person. Look them in the eye and make
a note
(mental or real) of their eye colour. By the way, ‘Brown’ or ‘Blue’ is
not the
answer… what shade of brown? How bright? Different flecks of colour.


Find
someone to work with on this activity to start with. When practiced it becomes
a normal part of your routine.

 

Take notes
of VAK (Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic) words, Key-words or phrases used by the other
person and ignores (as much as you can) content. The conversation should last
no more than 5 minutes.

 

Ask open
questions and practice your active listening skills – paraphrasing, clarifying,
reflecting, linking, summarising, encouraging. Commence by asking the other
person to relate a story about their last holiday (or some other significant
recent event that is personal but not too personal).

 

The other
person responds as themselves.

 

After
about 4 minutes, you should wrap-up the conversation appropriately.

 

Questions
to ask each other “How do you feel about the conversation?”

“What VAK
words were most used?”

 

Change
roles.


This not only ensures
that you make eye contact, you attune yourself to the detail.
I
Colour – I Listen Observer Template

 

Visual

 

Auditory

 

Digital

 

Kinaesthetic

 

See

 

Hear

 

Sense

 

Feel

 

View

 

Sound

 

Understand

 

Grasp

 

Show

 

Resonate

 

Learn

 

Hard

 

Reveal

 

Question

 

Decide

 

Concrete

 

Illuminate

 

Listen

 

Consider

 

Touch

 

Clear

 

Rings a bell

 

Perceive

 

Get a grip

 

Focused

 

Tune in/out

 

Process

 

Solid

 

Look

 

Make music

 

Change

 

Make contact

 

Imagine

 

 

 

Conceive

 

Hold

 

Hazy

 

 

 

Think

 

Catch on

 

Picture

 

 

 

Know

 

 

 

Appear

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Key
Words and Phrases

How
often

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Eye
colour