Strive to Leave a Legacy or Chase After the Wind?

Stress! Do you suffer?

Of course you do.

How much is caused by others and how much do you cause yourself?

When you really think on this, you uncover some rather painful truths about stress. Most of it is caused by yourself.

Like you. I like to place demands on my performance. Far greater demands than I would ever allow anybody else. Well perhaps my wife would debate that, but I don’t demand so much from other people.

Like you, I have a desire to leave something of a legacy. I want to achieve something bigger than myself. Something important.
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Five Ways to Let Your Courage Set You Free

CourageCourage is the root of all freedom.

It takes courage to dream big dreams… no matter your past, circumstances, or what others tell you. It takes courage to go after what matters. And when the going gets tough and obstacles crop up (as they always will), it takes courage to press on. Any time you go after what you really want, your doubts and fears will surface. That’s just part of the experience. You must ignore the voices that say “turn back” or “give up now” or “this is too hard.”

It is courage that keeps you moving forward.

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3 Fears that Undermine Your Authenticity

3 fears that undermine authenticityThere’s something not quite right.

Something just isn’t sitting well in your gut.

You can’t quite place it exactly, but there is something wrong between the words and something else.

Have you ever heard the adage that communication is only 7 percent verbal and 93 percent non-verbal? Well, much of it is a pernicious myth, but there is some truth in the idea of congruence between what you say and how you say it. And when we witness a lack of congruence (in our perception) it is often that ‘gut’ feel, that sense of unease that causes us to mistrust what we are hearing.

We’ve all hidden something about ourselves from others.

We’re all tempted to “spin” to protect ourselves from some vulnerability or difficult situation. Sure, I have plenty of hidden parts, thank you. My recent intimate relationship with death has led to a great deal of mind spring-cleaning. In so doing, I’ve come across three common fears that cause us to hide some of our authenticity: rejection, exposure and vulnerability.

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How useful is empathy?

Even when we disagree, we can still empathise with the other person

Even when we disagree, we can still empathise with the other person

Are you brave enough to really get in touch with our own fragilities?

We’ve all heard how we need to be more empathetic with others, to truly understand what it is like to walk a mile in their shoes. But what is it and is it actually any use?

em·pa·thy

“the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.” Dictionary.com

So what is empathy really and how is it different from sympathy?

Empathy means that we need to become vulnerable, which is probably why so few leaders dare exercise it… even at home. Rather than describe empathy versus sympathy, watch this excellent RSA short from a talk given by Dr Irene Browne: Continue reading

Aptitude + Attitude = Altitude. 3 Questions to gain altitude today

Technical Aptitude alone is insufficient

Jimmy Connors, winner of 109 professional singles tennis titles says, “There’s a thin line between being #1 or #100, and mostly it’s mental.”

In his well-researched book, Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman shows that it’s our attitude more than our aptitude that determines our altitude. While our society lauds intellectual giants and power, Goleman’s research concludes, “At best, IQ contributes about 20 percent to the factors that determine life success, which leaves 80 percent to other forces.”

Other EQ researchers, Robert Cooper and Ayman Sawaf consider this too conservative. In their book, Executive EQ: Emotional Intelligence in Leadership and Organizations, they write, “— IQ may be related to as little as 4 percent of real-world success — over 90 percent may be related to other forms of intelligence — it is emotional intelligence, not IQ or raw brain power alone, that underpins many of the best decisions, the most dynamic and profitable organizations, and the most satisfying and successful lives.

Malcolm Higgs and Vic Dulewicz set out to disprove this “faddish idea” relenting after their research that, Emotional Intelligence is of far greater importance than IQ and something they term “management quotient”.

There’s a growing consensus in the academic and popular literature that our attitude and our mindset are more important than our technical capability that make a difference to our success. As Zig Ziglar puts it, “Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.”

Difference makers have a better attitude

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