How Do I Leverage My Influencing Style?

how do i leverage my influencing styleThe 15-inch blade flew perilously close to my left ear, and the Chef’s knife thumped into the door behind me. I was told, in no uncertain terms, that my days in his pastry kitchen were over. I couldn’t possibly repeat the actual words, but if you think that Gordon Ramsey cusses, I can assure you that even he has a comparatively mild turn of phrase.

Chef was right of course. I was useless in the pastry kitchen.

I still am. My croissants could be used to break rocks in a quarry. My shortcrust could substitute for dumbell weights. It’s simple biology. My hands are too warm.

Heck, I didn’t even want to be a pastry chef, but I had to master every part of cooking, and I wanted to learn from this Chef. I had huge respect for his talent and would take almost anything for the chance to learn. But he wasn’t very likeable. He was a conqueror style and a competent jerk.

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How to influence anyone to do anything (so long as it is in there interests too)

I walked to the front of the meeting room past my muttering colleagues.

My hands clammy, my shirt beginning to soak with perspiration in the air conditioned room. Blinded momentarily by the projector, I faced my audience. Their faces raptly attentive as they waited for the first words to come.

I noticed my boss as he glanced at his watch. A phone buzzed in silent mode on the table and all eyes were drawn toward it. Someone muttered an apology as he picked up the errant phone and read the message.

I had spent weeks preparing for this meeting. We were about to introduce a new computer system across the entire business and everyone in the room would be effected. Nobody wanted the new system. I stumbled through my slides, gave them all the facts and outlined the plan. Still nobody wanted the new system.

I had failed to influence my colleagues to support the project.

So why had my long-prepared presentation failed to achieve the intended result?

triangle of influence

The answer lies in the Triangle of Influence

When we are influenced to do something, we connect three things inside the brain:

  1. The goal we will achieve
  2. The resources achieving the goal costs, and
  3. The personal benefits that we get out of achieving the goal.

When we believe that we have more value in the benefit than the cost, we will be motivated to act on achieving the goal. But if we believe that the cost outweighs the benefit, we will not be motivated to act.

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Influence LeaderShift 2 – Climbing the Five Levels of Influence

Five levels of Influence

“Leadership is influence” according to John C. Maxwell (Maxwell, 2010), and you can raise your level of influence with others.

If you are unfamiliar with the five levels of influence, you should start by reading this short article on Influence Level.

Now, where would you like to be with yourself? Most likely level 3 – “Production”, 4 – “People Development” or even level 5 – “Personhood”?

I’ll guess that this is one level beyond your current level.

So how do I raise my level of influence? Choose the LeaderShift that is appropriate for the key relationships in your life:

Leadershift!

From Level 1 – “Position” or “Power”

If you are at level 1 (reliant on your position to have power over someone to influence them) – struggling to attain level 2 (reliant on others permission to influence them) – I recommend that you seek professional help. I don’t mean a psychiatrist – I mean a coach or mentor, and now would be a very good idea!

If you are at level 1, chances are very high that there is no-one in your life currently at level 4 – i.e. no-one that you respect for how they have developed you as an individual.

  • Find yourself a coach or mentor. This is the person you want as a coach or mentor ideally.
  • Short of that, ask around – or get onto our website, we’ll happily point you to someone we’ve worked with in the past who might be suitable.
Leadershift!

From Level 2 – “Permission” or “Relationship”

Those of you at level 2, wanting to get to level 3 – “Production” or results…

  • You could start with your boss, or your more successful peers, friends or family members. Ask them to help you push yourself. It’s amazing once you start to get the results you want – then you’ll respect yourself for it and rely less and less on others influencing you.
  • Establish a SMART goal that truly stretches you in your influence.
Leadershift!

From Level 3 – “Production” or “Results”

Level 3 to level 4 – this, is about teaching and sharing with others to help them develop.

  • You can start with learning something you have thought till now as being ‘impossible’. Right-handed players learning to play left-handed.
  • Best of all, choose your favourite hobby, or something at work in which you are really quite skilful and teach someone else.
Leadershift!

From Level 4 – “People Development” or “Mentor”

Level 4 to level 5, I believe that this is when you find yourself and what you really really believe in. It’s a higher calling, beyond self. It is, for me, ridding myself of the self-righteousness, the ego if you will and knowing that you have a purpose in this life. There are few leaders who truly attain this.

  • Think of someone who you know who is really charismatic, but have never met personally who, if they came over to you and said “come with me” that you would simply follow… that person more than likely has achieved “personhood”.
  • Ask them to mentor or coach you.

There are other aspects of influence in this life , business and family. It is not entirely self-focused. The way we behave, the way we play, the confidence that we exude, the way we allow our character to come out – all of these have an influence on those around us. Is your influence always good?

Be a positive influence on someone else now:

  • ask “what’s better today?” and
  • Send this LeaderShift to a friend.

Enjoy and best wishes, John

Maxwell, J. C. (2010). The Five Levels of Leadership, now a book! | John Maxwell on Leadership. Retrieved from http://johnmaxwellonleadership.com/2010/10/03/the-five-levels-of-leadership-now-a-book/.


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Inside Influence Report: How to Increase Your Business by Showing Your Appreciation

Although it’s only October, Thanksgiving will be here before we know it. Thanksgiving is normally a time when we consider all the things we’re grateful for—caring family and friends, a good job, or maybe even being on the lucky end of the turkey’s wishbone. But how can a consideration of what we’re thankful for also make us more influential people?

via Inside Influence Report: How to Increase Your Business by Showing Your Appreciation.

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LeaderShift, Issue #002 — How to Win Friends and Really Influence People – Get a commitment!

LeaderShift, Issue #002 — How to Win Friends and Really Influence People – Get a commitment!.

The rule says that once decisions have been made, there is a tendency to defend and reinforce that decision consistently – regardless of how right or wrong it was.

People want to be both consistent and true to their word. Getting your staff to publicly commit to something makes them more likely to follow through with action.

Today’s LeaderShift

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