GainMore Advantage

In an earlier post, we looked at the 5 levels of Influence. Now, where would you like to be with yourself? That’s right, level 3, 4 or 5

I’ll guess that this is one level beyond your current level. So how? Well, that’s the seed planted. If you are at level 1 - struggling to attain level 2 - I recommend that you seek professional help. I don’t mean a psychiatrist - I mean a coach. If you are at level 1, chances are very high that there is no-one in your life currently at level 4 - i.e. no-one that you respect for how they have developed you as an individual. This is the person you want as a coach ideally. Short of that, ask around - or get onto our website, we’ll happily point you to someone we’ve worked with in the past who might be suitable.

Those of you at level 2, wanting to get to level 3 - production or results…

You could start with your instructor ,or your regular playing partners. Tell them to help you push yourself. It’s amazing once you start to get the results you want - then you’ll respect yourself for it and rely less and less on others influencing you.

Level 3 to level 4 - this, I believe, is about the love to learn for the sake of it. You can start with learning something you have thought till now as being ‘impossible’. Right-handed players learning to play left-handed. Shoot targets. Play games like ‘bag grab’. Best of all, start someone new on golf - help them learn.

Level 4 to level 5, I believe that this is when you find yourself and what you really really believe in. It’s a higher calling, beyond self. It is, for me, ridding myself of the self-righteousness, the ego if you will and knowing that you have a purpose in this life.

There are other aspects of influence in this game as well. It is not entirely self-focussed.

The way we play, the confidence that we exude, the way we allow our character to come out - all of these have an influence on those around us.

Something that I believe is a much worse situation, is that many people neglect to develop and improve their influence of themselves. Odd? I don’t need to influence myself. If I tell myself to do something, I simply do it. Exactly, that’s why so few people consider the importance of this. We work on the simple assumption that we don’t need to influence ourselves. Maybe not, but building the habits of higher levels of influence with others starts with ourselves. Let’s discuss these five levels in respect to self-influence.

Level 1 - Position. Are you in a superior position - i.e. a position of authority of yourself? Do you have power over yourself?

For example, you know that in order to improve your golf game, you need to do some good stretching exercises. Others have told you this, your instructor, magazines, peers and so on. Do you do it? Some of you do - well done. Most of you don’t.

You also have a busy life, what with work, family, kids, social activities, friends and so on. In order for you to ensure that you practice your golf suitably and regularly to improve, you have organised your priorities such that you always practice when you plan to? Yes, I hear you, family and unexpected events do crop up don’t they. Hmmm, influence? Over others and self?

Basically, most people do not have positional power over them self. A few will exercise this and may be referred to as having an ‘iron will’, be ‘determined’, or be ‘uncompromising’. For others, if you find that you need others to push you along every time, you might like to change this situation.

Okay then, Level 2 - Permission - based on relationships. Do you have a good relationship with yourself? Do you. honestly now, like yourself? Do you enjoy and appreciate the relationship that you have with yourself?
Some of you do, and that’s excellent, again, most do not - at least if they are honest with themselves.

Weird, namby pamby, soft clap trap. Oh that it were. The psychiatrists chairs are filled with people whose relationship with self has irreparably broken down. Unfortunately this isn’t just psychological bull - it’s a genuine problem. And basically, if you don’t like yourself, you won’t follow your requests.

Ever find yourself struggling to take your own, perfectly good advice? You know it’s the right or the best thing to do, but simply are not being influenced by someone that you actually like.

Perhaps you skipped the first two levels (or think you did, because we actually go tup the levels as we mature - still, the first two could have been climbed in childhood).

Level 3 - Production. You accept the influence of you having made good performance enhancing decisions in the past.

This is where you practice well, and properly because your experience has been to win competitions, beat your peers (whatever you have as results) - you have achieved the results you set out to achieve. Now you ‘believe’ yourself when you request yourself to continue the process. A good level of influence to be - there’s still a spot higher we could use, but so long as you constantly present yourself with appropriate results, this will suffice.

Better still, is to reach level 4 influence - People development - where you influence yourself because you have developed yourself effectively before and it has done you good. These individuals are true self-starters. Often they learn for the pure love of learning - they don’t need external impetus as a necessary ‘reason’. They respect their personal development, they make time for themselves, they indulge in everything that they want to indulge in and know, always, that every opportunity to learn is a learning experience.

Will you reach level 5 - person-hood? Do you, indeed can you, respect yourself. Now, I have worked with many people to work on this - and they successfully achieve it. The people at this level with themselves you meet who are very ‘centred’ - strong in their values or live a ‘principled’ life. Nothing seems to ruffle them, overly worry them - and, incidentally, they treat everyone around them with respect as well… they are at, or near this level with themselves.

Now, there are going to be some people out there reading this, or hearing this and thinking that it’s a load of crock. Of course, you are entitled to your opinion and I am always happy to debate the concept in the furtherance of people being able to get the best out of themselves. Meantime, I just ask -  do you talk to yourself? Do you ever have a debate going on - it doesn’t mean you have to speak out loud - self-talk can be entirely internal. You do? Who then, are you talking to?

Weighing up the pro’s and con’s - presenting yourself with a balanced argument… perhaps you want to buy a new set of clubs. Now, this is not a decision to be taken lightly. New clubs, can cost a small fortune - indeed a large fortune too. As you go through the internal debate, you are influencing yourself one way or the other.

Let’s work on a hypothetical situation. You have been playing golf for some time. You’re instructor has recommended that you buy new clubs to fit your body - your current set inherited from your father who was 6 inches shorter than you. You have no major crisis in your family requiring your savings immediately and you are in a suitably secure financial situation - but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. It’s a new set of clubs or, a longer summer holiday. You love to play golf and want the new clubs to assist your  length and, let’s face it, the old clubs have a few deep scratches and maybe the alignment is off…

There are, according to John C. Maxwell, five levels of influence - each with their own rights and each with their power to influence.

Level 1 - Position - This is when you have the positional authority (aka power) over someone else and they have to follow because of the power relationship. The most familiar situation when this is displayed is between children and their parent - in the never ending cycle of “why do I have to?” the exasperated parent running short of arguments or more frequently, time, responds “because I said so!” never an effective nor motivational response, but it sums up how leaders finally resort to this positional power to cause someone else to have to do something.

Level 2 - Permission - based on relationships - where people follow because they want to as they have a good relationship with you

Level 3 - Production - based on results that you have demonstrably achieved for the organisation. People follow because of what you have done for the organisation

Levels 4 - People Development - based on reproduction - people follow because of what you have done for them personally. This is the top level for most people and is only achieved with those you have personally developed - though your reputation for enabling others to excel will allow a superior level 3 (results)

Level 5 - Person-hood - based on respect - sadly very very few people will ever achieve this. Though its the level that many aspire to have or rather believe in themselves that others should simply respect them (usually these are disenfranchised level 1 leaders who demand ‘respect’ from authority rather than earn the genuine respect and admiration of others through their actions and continual display of care and concern for others, the organisation and standing up for forthright and important values.

Your ability to influence others is often misunderstood at best, and reliant on ‘luck’ at worst. Few leaders in the world understand their position of influence with each of their constituents and fewer still, work a deliberate plan to increase their influential effectiveness with others.

Influence is a two-way street. Everything you do and say has some influence on others - you are part of their external environment. You even exert a small degree of gravitational force on others, indeed, you exert gravitational force on the planet! Not a lot admittedly, but your mass does attract other mass. You knew that you should have paid attention in science class now. Just as aside, it’s quite a useful factoid for use when you have gained a few pounds of weight - you do so in order to become more attractive! That’s put paid to the glamour magazines.

The same is trues for other people exerting their influence over you. Everything that other people say or do is a part of your external environment and that exerts an influence in turn over your behaviour.

The external environment beyond other human beings, also has some influence over you. The weather for example - when it is raining, it is quite likely that you would alter your ‘normal’ behaviour by carrying an umbrella, or wearing a rain-proof coat. You know for sure that the weather can have a major influence over your golf. When there is lightening, you would wisely move away from the fairways under the trees or into the clubhouse. Being struck by lightening is one influence that everyone can do without.

The problem with influence is that human beings have a tendency to assume that there is little you can do to change the way something influences you. Well, let me put this straight. You can and you do.
Let us take an example of something that influences us and we do something about it  - almost fight its influence on our lives. One that affects us all and that is our friend gravity. You see, gravity is ever present in our lives - there are a few exceptions but since that involves  travelling into space I think I can safely assume that does not include you. If, by chance you have travelled into space - my question is - how far can you hit a drive out there? Must be awesome.

Back to earth. Gravity is a pretty constant force acting on our bodies - in order to combat the effects of gravity we develop muscles and utilise energy to stand against it. Only when we are physically damaged - break a leg, twist an ankle, suffer paralysis and so on, do we truly appreciate how much effort is involved in keeping our body upright and moving. When we are reasonably fit and well, we think little or nothing of getting up from a chair and walking, and most of the time, we do all this unconsciously. We have programmed our brain to take care of operating the correct muscles, keeping balance, walking, and all the while supplying those muscles and cells with energy through breathing and circulating our blood. Now, if you had to consciously work out how to do all this stuff that we simply take for granted, you’d not have a great deal of time to think about much else - at least, not consciously.

What’s the point of this? Well, it’s simple really - there are many many things occurring in your life, including when you practice and play golf, that influence your behaviour. Some things we cannot change - gravity, weather, daylight, animals etc. and we can choose to what extent we allow such to affect us and our behaviours. We can choose to be at cause for ourselves or at the effect of the environment and others. In other words, I’m disabling your potential for ‘excuses’.