Dr John Kenworthy | Tag

How to Bust Stress and Fears

Posted on September 12, 2016 by Dr John Kenworthy 0

You know that stress is bad for you. Yet you endure it every day. Modern life is stressful. Whether it’s work, your boss, your spouse, your kids, your parents, driving or simply trying to fathom what to eat today. Your life is filled with stressors. So what can you do about it?

Imagine you are visiting a theme park

The best rides always have a long queue and you look with disdain at a group of ‘bullies’ who cut the line and push in front of you.

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How Great Leaders Build Trust and Increase Engagement

Posted on October 19, 2015 by Dr John Kenworthy 0

A few weeks ago I recorded a podcast about the Power of Trust to Succeed and many people wrote and asked why it is that you can do something with the very best intentions but find that it backfires.

It seems that it is very easy to lose someone’s trust but oh so difficult to gain it back.

Think of trust as a wallet full of cash.

I know that it’s rare to have such a thing, but imagine, OK?

Say I have a couple of thousand bucks in various bills in my trust wallet. Every time I do or say something that causes you to lose faith in me, to lose your trust, for whatever reason, is like asking you to take whatever amount of cash out of my wallet.

Of course, being a normal human being, you’ll take the 100 dollar bills first.

If, foolishly I hurt you in some way again, you’ll take another chunk from my wallet. A third time and you’ll probably take the wallet and empty it.

Now I have no trust with you. Is there any way I can influence you if you don’t trust me? Of course not.

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5 areas of stress and anxiety in your life

Posted on November 21, 2013 by Dr John Kenworthy 0

Stress and anxiety. It can smack you in the head when you least expect it.

It can creep up on you and before you realize what has happened, your skin tingles, your heart is racing, your breathing shallow and you are ready to lash out at your nearest and dearest for minor offenses.

In previous oists, I have explained what happens in your brain and the different types of stress. Now lets look at the 5 areas in your life that are affected by stress. The more we know about our own peculiar stress response, the more readily we can deal with it effectively.

The first area of life we’ll look at is the Journey.

Your journey is your path through life – it’s your story, your memories, your history, your beliefs,values, purpose and calling. Stress in this area is often caused by the lack of something or an imbalance in our journey in life and the choices we have made. For many, it is a lack of defined purpose – quaintly referred to as a “mid-life crisis” (should be) where we suddenly start asking ourselves “what’s the point of all of this?” (alone). Stress here can also be tied to our memories and history of fear and worry in the past and triggered in the present.

The second area of our life, we call “Doing”. This is the sphere of action and reaction – the practical aspects of our life. Stress and anxiety in this area can be caused through a feeling of overwhelm or overload because we believe we cannot do what is necessary (persistence) – or perhaps we have simply taken on too much. Perhaps we feel that the risk of action is too great and the alarm bells ring that perhaps our goal is too stretching (almost)?

The third area we call “Just Be”. This is our emotional being and the way we flow through life. Stress in this area may be caused because we hold on to grievances and bitterness (forgiveness) about others and about ourselves. Perhaps you are being asked to compromise your values or authenticity in order to succeed in this fallen world. Our chosen attitude (gratitude) towards life has a major impact on how we respond to stressful situations.

The fourth area is “Difficulties”. This is the challenging aspects of our lives. As we journey through life we all face difficulties and challenges (failure) – how we approach these can determine the stress and anxiety we feel as we choose how we avoid or overcome our challenges. We may feel guilty about our failure or perhaps we just hold our own “pity party” (self-pity) as we make excuses for being stuck.

The fifth area we examine is “Opportunities”. How we go about enriching our daily lives, how open and ready we are to things that happen around us can have a significant impact on our levels of stress and anxiety. Perhaps a different point of view will enable us to align ourselves and innovate a way to succeed.

Our stress can be rooted in one or all areas. The way these life areas interplay in our thinking and emotions enable us to choose to cope with or overcome the stressors that life does, and will continue to, present. As we dig a little deeper into our personal response to life happening, we learn what triggers our own stress and anxiety. And once we know the enemy, we can prepare for every battle in our war on stress and anxiety.

Types and Causes of Stress

Posted on November 18, 2013 by Dr John Kenworthy 4

There are two main types of stress, Eustress and Distress. Eustress is a positive stress that we experience that enhances performance, some call this “being in the flow”. When we have Eustress, we feel energized, focused, and much of what we do seems effortless. Insufficient stress and we may be bored, lack energy and focus and everything seems effortful.

Distress is a negative type of stress. often cause by our perception of the external environment that overwhelms us causing fatigue, exhaustion, ill-health and even burnout.

It is critical to understand that something that you feel as being Eustress, could easily be Distressful for others.

For example, you may be energized and focused by the idea of doing a bungy jump. I, on the other hand would be feeling acute distress.But I get energized by the stress of being in front of thousands of people about to perform… this might cause you acute distress.

When we have no stress, we are in a period of calm. We may even be bored. For some people, being in this state of calm is a goal and lifelong endeavour, for others, the thought of doing very little or even nothing is, in itself, stressful.

How do I know that I am stressed?

Stress doesn’t always look the same as people often respond to stress overwhelem in three distinct ways:

Foot on the accelerator – You’re keyed up, agitated, overly emotional and unable to sit still.

Foot on the brake – You sit down and space out. You show little energy or emotion.

Foot on both – Under pressure, you freeze and cannot do anything. A state of paralysis seems to take over your body, but underneath the skin, you’re highly agitated.

Signs that you may be stressed:

Cognitive Signs

Memory problems
Inability to concentrate
Poor judgment
Seeing only the negative side of things
Anxious or racing thoughts
Constant worrying

Emotional Signs

Moodiness
Irritability or short temper
Agitation, unable to relax
Feeling overwhelmed
Sense of loneliness and isolation
Depression or general unhappiness

Physical Signs

Aches and pains
Diarrhea or constipation
Nausea, dizziness
Chest pain, rapid heartbeat
Loss of sex drive
Frequent colds or flu

Behavioural Signs

Easting more or less than normal
Sleeping longer or much less than normal
Isolating yourself from other people
Procrastinating or neglecting responsibilities
Using alcohol, cigarettes or drugs to relax
Nervous habits such as nail biting, pacing

REMEMBER – other psychological or medical conditions could cause any or all of the signs.

Some people tolerate stress more easily than others and there are some things that influence your ability to tolerate it:

Support network – supportive friends and family can be a wonderful buffer against life’s stressors. The more isolated and lonely you are, the more vulnerable you may be to stress,

Sense of control – If you believe that you are able to influence events and persevere through challenges, you will have greater confidence in yourself and your ability to overcome stress. But when you feel as though you have little or no control, you may be more vulnerable.

Attitude – Stress resistant people have a positive attitude on life. They embrace challenges and accept that change happens and often believe in a higher power or purpose. A predominantly negative outlook on life adds to the feeling of stress and your inability to do anything about it.

Emotional control – Knowing how to calm or soothe yourself when you are feeling sad, angry or fearful will enable you to bounce back from adversity. Lacking emotional control will make you extremely vulnerable to stress.

Knowledge – Factual information about how long a stressful situation will last can enable you to tolerate the stress more easily, knowing that this too shall pass. When we have little or no knowledge about the situation, we don;t know how long we will have to keep this up, and thus may give in too soon.

What cause stress?

If you perceive something to be stressful. It is, for you. It might not be perceived as stressful by someone else. I remember all to well, being dismissed by my father when I was young and complaining that I couldn’t cope with something – only to be told that it was “good for me”. Apparently I would thank him one day for it. Did his ‘wisdom’ help me? Not at all. In fact I got to a point where I genuinely thought that there was something seriously wrong with me. Some may argue that there still is 😉 The point is, if it feels stressful for you, it is stressful for you.

Some causes of stress are relatively easy to spot as they are external: Major life changes; Work; Relationship problems; Financial difficulties; Being too busy; Children and family.

But not all stress is caused by external factors. Stress can also be self-generated:

Inability to accept uncertainty
Pessimism
Unrealistic expectations
Perfectionism
Lack of assertiveness
Negative self-talk

If the cause is external you may be able to do nothing about it, but you can choose how you deal with it.

Stop Stress and Anxiety

Posted on November 8, 2013 by Dr John Kenworthy 0

Anxiety or stress versus Fear

Fear and anxiety and stress are close cousins yet distinct from each other.

Fear, evolutionary speaking, is a useful, protective trait critical for survival. It sharpens our senses and prepares our body to face sudden danger. Critically, fear is our response to a real threat and imminent danger. Fear has a cause that is both tangible and present and is usually something specific.

Anxiety is usually a fear of an indefinite something that we cannot always explain or even locate in space and time.

Stress is the way our bodies and minds react to something which upsets our normal balance in life. Stress is how we feel and how our bodies react when we are fearful or anxious. Some level of stress has some upside to mind and body function to enable us to react in a positive way. Too much stress though, is both harmful to the body and our performance. How much is too much? Well, that depends… on you and how you respond.

As fear is a critical survival mechanism in response to a real threat, stress from fear is something to be tolerated in order to survive. Anxiety, on the other hand, is fear looking for a reason.

Anxiety is fear looking for a reason.

In the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) there is a category for “General Anxiety Disorder” (GAD). Diagnostic criteria for GAD are: Excessive and difficult-to-tame anxiety and worry occurring more days than not for at least 6 months about a number of events or activities. And you have 3 or more of the following symptoms:

Restlessness or feeling keyed up or on edge
Being easily fatigued
Difficulty concentrating or mind going blank
Irritability
Muscle tension
Sleep disturbance

Also, the worry should not be about something specific.

Manifest symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational or other important areas of functioning in life.

As you read through the clinical diagnosis, if you think, “yeap, that’s me”, you need to stop right now and book an appointment to visit your doctor. So, just check the details again, is your anxiety occurring more days than not? At least 3 of the symptoms? IS your anxiety causing you significant distress? Again, if your answers are yes, you need to seek professional advice.

Anxiety is the tacit awareness that something is missing or wrong in our lives or that our values an aspirations are out of focus or under threat.

Active versus passive fear

Taking action in response to threatening stimuli enables us to engage in active oping strategies instead of a fearful response. The central nucleus of the amygdala plays a critical role here. Specifically, “Type 1” cells in the Central Nucleus (CeA) that, when activated, inhibit transmission activity. When inhibited, the CeA is selectively silenced. This silencing is linked to activity in the frontal region of the brain (the Cholinergenic basal forebrain) which is known for its arousing influence on parts of the brain cortex. In short, silence the CeA and you more actively seek a way out of a threatening situation.

The bed nucleus of the stria terminals (BNST) mediates slower-onset, longer-lasting responses that frequently accompany sustained threats, and that may persist even after threat termination. Continuing the feeling of anxiety.

It is possible to bypass, or at least significantly reduce, the anxiety experience by training ourselves to use alternate pathways.

We can avoid being gripped by anxiety. Not by withdrawing from life, but by actively choosing to negotiate ourselves away from negative thinking and engaging in more pleasurable activities and constructive behaviour.

So why do we persist in ever being anxious?

We worry because we think that worrying is the most useful, and sometimes the only apparently useful, strategy and keeps us preoccupied and safe. I.e. it keeps us from taking action to deal with the situation.

If we want to beat anxiety, we must be disciplined to exercise our incredible capacity to conquer it with calm and positivity. Every time we purposefully take action towards change, we contribute to the creation and consolidation of new behavioural responses and the underlying neural circuits that can bypass our anxious response.

Your Brain on Stress and Anxiety – Infographic